Why Are There So Many Grown-Ass Toddlers in the World? (A Love Letter to Everyone Who’s Accidentally Raised One)
Let’s be honest: some of us didn’t get into relationships—we accidentally adopted fully grown toddlers with credit cards, smartphones, and adult-level tantrums. You thought you were getting a partner. A teammate. A sexy grown-up who’d help carry the load of life. But what you got was this: A person who could legally vote, legally drive, and legally ruin your peace—but emotionally? They were still three years old with a superiority complex and a phone full of excuses. Signs You’re Dealing with a Grown-Up Toddler: Tantrums when the attention isn’t on them. Heaven help you if you’re having a rough day—suddenly their feelings matter more than yours. Needs applause for basic human decency. “I made dinner.” Wow. Give them a sticker and a juice box. Goes missing when it’s time to be responsible. Real adults show up. Toddlers ghost you mid-crisis and pop up later like nothing happened. Weaponised helplessness. “I didn’t know how to pay that bill.” “I can’t cook but I also don’t want...
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